Tuesday, June 07, 2005

FREE GMAIL

HI EVERY ONE

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Sunday, May 15, 2005

See what happens to the punch line if all the big multinationals start selling condoms .........
COMPANY PUNCH LINE
TOOTHPASTE CO. YEH HAI HAMARA SURAKSHA CHAKRA
MOBILE CO. CONNECTING PEOPLE
TYRE CO. EXTRA RUBBER EXTRA MILEAGE
OINTMENT CO AH SE AHAA TAK
SOFTDRINK CO. ZOR KA JHATKA DHIRE SE LAGE
SOAP CO. FILMI SITARON KI PASAND
TV CO. LETS MAKE THINGS BETTER
TV CO. NEIGHBOURS ENVY OWNERS PRIDE
SOFTDRINK CO. TASTE THE THUNDER
PEN CO. SABKUCH DIKHTA HAI
BUTTER CO. A GIFT FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE
LIQUER CO. KHUB JAMEGA RANG JAB MILENGE TEEN
YAAR MAI AAP AUR BAGPIPIER CONDOM CIGRETTE CO. NOTHING BETWEEN YOU AND ME
MOBILE CO. COMMUNICATION UNLIMITED CHOCLATE CO. ASLI SWAD JINDAGI KA COOKER CO. JO BIWI SE KARE PYARR
WHO CONDOM SE KAISE KARE INKAR
MINT CO. A CONDOM WITH A HOLE

SOURCES-EMAIL

Saturday, April 30, 2005

joke

"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months."

Interview Joke

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Some Thing To Tkink About

The most destructive habit..............................Worry
The greatest Joy.......................................Giving
The greatest loss........................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work.......................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.....................Selfishness
The most endangered species........Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource..........Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm".................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.......................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease....................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..........................Love
The most dangerous pariah..........................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer................The brain
The worst thing to be without.... . Hope
The deadliest weapon...........................The tongue
The two most power-filled words......................."I Can"
The greatest asset......................................Faith
The most worthless emotion..........................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire..............................SMILE!
The most prized possession......................... Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication.............Prayer
The most contagious spirit.........................Enthusiasm

BY-Spiderman

NEW ELEMENT IN THE PERIODIC TABLE

  • Element : WOMEN
  • Symbol : Wo+
  • Atomic mass : Accepted as 54 Kg; isotopes may vary from 50-100 kg.
  • Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.
  • PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

1. bOiLs at room temperature

2. Freezes without any known reason.

3. Melts if given special treatment.

4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.

5. Sweet as chocolate if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

1. Have great affinity for Silver,Diamond,Platinum and a range of preciousstones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no knownreason.

3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by that.

4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to human.

5.Our analyst are still vry confused abt this new element and depictedstill more to discover......

COMMON USES

1. Highly ornamental

2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.

2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.!!

WARNING !!PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HAEMORRHAGINGAND MENTAL DISTRESS.BE CAUTIOUS!!!

Any opinions expressed in this blog are those of the individual

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Jackson wins 'Most Foolish American' title


Friday, 01 April , 2005, 05:38
Los Angeles: Accused pop icon Michael Jackson has been crowned America's most foolish person for the third straight year, snatching the dishonour from the likes of a murderer and US President George W. Bush.
Some 80 percent of 1,030 people who took part in an annual April Fool's Day survey felt that Jackson, on trial for molesting a 13-year-old boy, deserved the top spot on the 2005 list that also featured his bra-popping sister Janet Jackson and convicted domestic diva Martha Stewart.
"It's getting hard to envision an America in which Michael Jackson isn't the most foolish individual," said public relations consultant Jeff Barge, who compiled the sixth "Most Foolish American" survey obtained by AFP.
"Short of a lesbian wedding ceremony for Paris Hilton, it's hard to imagine who could possibly push him out of the number 1 spot," he added.
Eight out of 10 people polled in the telephone survey felt that the faded "King of Pop" had "done something foolish" in the past year, giving him top spot in the survey for the third time in a row.
In second place on the list of dubious achievements in 2005 was convicted murderer Scott Peterson, sentenced to death this month for killing his eight month pregnant wife in California. He scores 68 percent of the vote.
Stewart, who was released from jail in early March after serving five months for lying to stock market regulators about a share deal, was third on the list, with 59 percent of those polled feeling she had been foolish.
Some 56 percent of those surveyed felt that Bush was the most foolish American of 2005, putting him fifth on the list, between socialite hotel heiress and reality television star Paris Hilton in fourth spot and Janet Jackson in sixth.
Bush won re-election in November but has been fiercely criticised for his leadership of the war in Iraq.
Janet Jackson caused a national scandal last year when a "wardrobe malfunction" resulted in her breast being bared on national television during the football Super Bowl, earning her sixth spot this year.
Also on the list of 23 foolish Americans were actor Robert Blake, acquitted this month of murdering his scam-artist wife, former US television news anchorman Dan Rather, actor Brad Pitt, whose marriage to Jennifer Aniston collapsed this year and Aniston herself.
In 19th spot was a cartoon character -- Marge Simpson's chain-smoking sister, Patty, from the animated television series "The Simpsons," who recently came out as a lesbian on the show.

Know about some one

Leonardo da Vinci (April 15, 1452May 2, 1519) was an Italian Renaissance architect, musician, inventor, engineer, sculptor and painter. He has been described as the archetype of the "Renaissance man" and as a universal genius. Leonardo is famous for his masterly paintings, such as The Last Supper and Mona Lisa. He is also known for designing many inventions that anticipated modern technology but were rarely constructed in his lifetime. In addition, he helped advance the study of anatomy, astronomy, and civil engineering.